New Start

For the past five years i have never kept up with a blog. This is one part of my New Years resolution. I need a place to let it all out. "Trust"... trust is an odd word. This past year i learned all about the word trust. I learned to trust no one. I know, that sounds awful. It's so true though. Thats my problem... I put all my trust in the wrong people. For some reason i have always felt like i need to open up to people more.. and that if i stayed quite about my problems than it would be wrong and bad. I was so stupid. I need to learn to how to keep to myself about things. So on that note... the word for the day is Reserved.

Reserved... guys like it, girls try to be it, reminds me of a librarian or that quiet girl in the back of the class. Websters dictionary describes "Reserved" as to hold in, or to keep back. It even says to hold back until the right time. My goal for this month is to be reserved about certain things in my life. I want to be a mystery to people. I mean, everyone knows me... and when i say they know me... they KNOW me. I hate being predictable. So for this month i am going to be reserved.

Postsecret.com is one of the most eye opening web sites i have ever seen. It has changed my outlook on a lot of thing. I mean, the whole idea of people sending their deepest darkest secrets on a post card to some random guy that will put them online is crazy. I'm working on my post card right now. What is it? I can't tell you... its a secret.

I'm not ready to leave home just yet. This is my last semester of high school... crazy huh?! I know that i am going to have to leave home soon, and i really am going to miss my family. My mom is an amazing mom, and i really am going to miss those little things that she does for me. My sister is my absolute best friend and i am really going to miss her too. I'm not too good at losing people... i dont know how im going to handle this leaving buisness.

I have decided that I am going to go on a mission trip this summer. I dont know who i am going with, or when, or ever where... but i feel like becauase i didnt go to China... I need to go on one. Mayfair is going to Baja and to City of Children. I might really like that. I really want to go to some where in Europe... maybe Belgium? Who knows...


For Now,
Jane