It's hard...

deciding the outcome of your life.

Lately i have been second guessing myself on every important life decision I am making. For instance... College. For the past two years it has always been Harding. I love Harding, it is a great place, with great people. I know everything about Harding. I know which club i want to be in, and the people i want to hang out with, what dorm i want to stay in (each year), and even what places i want to hang out at. It's not a surprise. I mean, i could work for the admissions people. And that is what turns me off about Harding. It isn't something new or surprising. Part of me just wants to go to a college far away where i don't know anyone, or anything about the school. I want to start new. Maybe I still can start new at Harding. Pray for me.

This weekend i went to Montgomery for a "We the people" constitution competition. Our school got second. If only i had studied a little more we could of gotten first.... Oh well. I know it sounds queer... but the competition was actually really cool. I got to go to the Alabama State house, capital building, and supreme court building. I got to meet the Alabama Chief Justice, and ask her questions. Which brings me to another thing in my life that is changing... my profession. For the past two years i have always wanted to do something related with world religions or the bible. But lately i can see myself being in politics or law. Harding doesn't offer law. I don't know... so confusing.

The word of the day is: Future. Websters' defines "future" as "Something that will happen in time to come". As a senior in high school, I think about the future non-stop. I'm a little scared about the future, yet excited. I know many people that try to run away from the future, and start trying to live their life in what i call "peter pan syndrome". Peter pan syndrome is when you try to stay a kid forever. Of course i never want that to happen to me, i want to grow up, i want responsibility. I just don't want it so fast. The future is really scary... and i don't know how i am going to handle it.

In the words of Sheryl Crow:
Live it up, like there's no time left Just like there's no tomorrow
No reason to worry, even if it isn't goin' our way Forget about tomorrow, because all we really have is today

Jane