Friday, February 2, 2007

Dear Friend...

...I steal small things from my friends to keep memories of how much i love them. I burned what i stole from you. I don't know why I let you get to me that much, maybe because you were the first person I ever truly let in. All i really know is that you affected me, changed me. Don't be proud. I never said that it was for the better. Sometimes you made me feel worthless. I was there when you had nothing and nobody. It's bad enough i still have to keep finding pictures and letters, places we've been together, friends we've hung out with... this whole city. I cannot escape. I've been scared of what life has in store for me for a really long time. But this year, this year and I'm going to stare at it right in the face and bear it. Because unlike you, I have courage. I probably sound bitter, and well, yes, I am a little hurt. After all, you were my best friend and I thought that you knew I would always care about you and love you whoever you decided to be. You have your boyfriend, college, your whole life ahead of you. Of course, I have my life ahead of me too, but it was nice to always have someone to talk to, someone to trust.
I could always count on you, and part of me wishes I still could. You need to take things for granted and learn that you don’t and can’t get everything you want. I never told you this, but I had a framed picture of you on my shelf. It’s no longer there because I need to release myself from this situation and it killed me to take it down, but I had to do it.

Friend, I want you to know that although we don’t talk anymore, I still love you. No matter how much you distance yourself from me I will always be there for you if you need me. We’ve gone through too much together for me not to do that for you. I know that one day you’ll have a wonderful career and be a beautiful wife and mother (despite how much you don't want to be one). Deep down you are a good person... just remember that. You will always be in my prayers.

I hope all is well

Me

2 comments:

Matthew Flowers said...

Wish I could help with your problems.

-matt

Jane said...

i wish you could too...